Nothing to see here, move along...

The Light That Shines in the Darkness (from Fall 2007)

2009-01-04T23:52:00.001-05:00

In lux tenebris lucet

Light bulbs-someone must help you turn yours on.
But, they must also make you understand that you have a light bulb.
(this little light of mine…)
for it benefits the few when the many do not know that they possess a light source, because then the light is scarce, and scarcity drives prices up.

For too long so many of us have had to look to the few to find our way in the darkness, gathered around their flames like moths, afraid to lose their light.
when we own the light that has always been ours…darkness will have nowhere to hide.

The New Democrats

2008-05-10T17:45:00.000-04:00

I think the fainting goats are the old democrats.
The Water Buffalo who stand together against the lions and crocs who would eat their young...
Them's the new Dems.

Watch how the herd is still scared, still skittish, still not what you would call brave.
But they provide the cover that the 2 or 3 fighters need to take on the predators and win.
We don't need to be heroes.
We don't need to be exceptionally brave.
We don't all need to be the ones throwing lions in the air with our horns.

We just need to let those who would feed on us know
that they might want to find a new food source.

Dems...
What's not for dinner.

Fainting goats or wooden-leg goats or...

2008-05-07T21:03:00.000-04:00

These fainting goats slay me.
That is all.

McSame offers $ to oil companies, Hillary says "Me, too!"

2008-04-29T13:32:00.003-04:00

Hillary: Pander, pander, pander, shameless pander, embarrassingly shameless pander, pander, attack, vicious attack, vicious, baseless attack, pander, passive-aggressive attack, Holy-Hell-I-can't-believe-she-thinks-we're-that-dumb pander, and finally same freshly laundered pander as McSame, baby.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/4/28/131030/283/576/504867

Mmmm...that's gooooood pander.

On the other hand...here's another chance to hear the sound of truth, people. Yet another call to the Hillary-ites out there, holding on to their tarnished and tattered dream, to listen to what a real fighter sounds like.

Hillary's gay problem

2008-04-24T14:45:00.000-04:00

Hillary's gay problem

She'll sneak us food from the table of power, but she won't give gay folks a seat.
(not if it means talking about gay issues in mixed company, thanks...)

Obama Would "Immediately Review" Potential Of Crimes In Bush White House - Politics on The Huffington Post

2008-04-15T11:38:00.000-04:00

Obama Would "Immediately Review" Potential Of Crimes In Bush White House - Politics on The Huffington Post

Ah...breathe it in. I love the smell of justice in the morning.

Dream with me, won't you? Dream of a future where the potential of criminal prosecution helps deter powerful elected officials from abusing their authority.

Dream of a day when government of the people, by the people, is accountable to the people.

Dream of a land where Republicans & Democrats and Independents and all those betwixt and between them agree that corruption isn't acceptable, even when admitting this means sharing some of the responsibility for allowing and/or encouraging the corruption in the first place.

Imagine all the people...regaining faith in a system that encourages, perhaps even rewards (or at the VERY least, does not penalize) Fair Play.

The Washington Times is pure evil

2008-03-30T11:09:00.000-04:00

The Washington Times = "Rev." Moon = STOP EATING SUSHI!!

2008-03-30T10:50:00.000-04:00

Lord, this is disgusting.
The graft, the quid pro quo-ing, the mainstreaming of a psychotic cult leader by the radical right wing.

I may never eat sushi again.

The Human Condition

2008-03-28T21:25:00.003-04:00

Baby's first pear...
(I just found it worth sharing. It tickled me. What? I'm working on actual content of my own, give me a break. If I don't read every blog in creation instead of actually writing stuff of my own, who will?)

via videosift.com

For thems that's interested...a pic of me back when I liked beer:

Shout into that credibility gap & hear the echo

2008-03-28T13:50:00.008-04:00

Photo by Timothy K. Hamilton

Former President of Chicago NOW, Lorna Brett Howard (a very compelling speaker, by the way) on why she switched from supporting Hillary to supporting Obama:

In Iowa, Hillary Clinton was telling people at pro-choice rallies, young women, that Barack Obama was weak on choice when he was a state senator, which is patently false. I was the president of Chicago NOW at the time and I worked closely with him. He had a 100% voting record and 100% with NARAL and Planned Parenthood.

I stayed with Hillary Clinton through that...but a friend forwarded me a piece of direct mail... It attacked Barack Obama on choice and it enraged me.

I'm supporting Barack Obama for president now because not only is he 100% pro-choice, he's 100% honest.
And this line of attack on an issue I care about so deeply is not acceptable to me.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that the reason I initially watched this clip is that I thought Lorna was Julia Roberts. I'm still not convinced she isn't.)

If You See Something, Say Something

2008-03-27T10:27:00.004-04:00

Time - Access to Passport File Gets Easier

The expanded access does not appear to be related to the breaches of the candidates' records. But privacy experts are concerned nonetheless

Hmmm...
The Bush admin relaxed the rules for access to passport files on Jan. 9

Jan. 9 is the same day Obama's files were breached for the "first time."

But, I totally believe the pish-poshing of the idea that these two facts are related and even the suggestion of the possibility of institutional involvement in this piffle makes me laugh. Laugh, i say. Hands on hips, bowl full of jelly-belly shimmying, chin to sky, trumpeting Ha-HAAAA!

You people who see dirty deeds done dirt cheap when you look at perfectly innocent mistakes, gaffes, flubs and bloopers...you people make me shake my head, roll my eyes and guffaw. You silly, silly, vigilant, familiar with history people.

I Just wanted to pass this on...Hey! I Must Be Young!

2008-03-27T00:29:00.001-04:00

Finding Political News Online, the Young Pass It On
by Brian Stelter for The New York Times

love this:

A December survey by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press looked broadly at how media were being consumed this campaign. In the most striking finding, half of respondents over the age of 50 and 39 percent of 30- to 49-year-olds reported watching local television news regularly for campaign news, while only 25 percent of people under 30 said they did.

KILL YOUR TELEVISION!
seriously...

MURDER YOUR NIGHTLY NEWS!
(or at least neglect to feed them your attention so they will wither and die, starved of the eyeballs they need to survive)

SMOTHER YOUR PUNDITS
(in bloggers and youtube, cuz bloggers have to provide LINKS and youtube vids don't repeat in an endless loop!)

Change will only happen when enough of us stop consuming the undercooked, overseasoned, and de-contextualized drivel the teevee people would have us believe is news (every damn one of 'em, CNN is no better than FOX, we must understand this) and we start nourishing ourselves with news they have not processed for us.

The blogs and news sites on the internet ain't perfect, but they're significantly less evil than what is available in any other medium.

A Golden Oldie

2008-03-26T21:14:00.001-04:00

The Tide Is Turning

2008-03-26T16:26:00.005-04:00

From Bob Cesca at The Huffington Post
A nice little video with bits of The Speech

Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mr. Richardson. Jesus loves you more than you will know

2008-03-21T09:40:00.006-04:00

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY...(we non-Christians call it Friday)

Richardson Endorses Obama.
He says it's time for Democrats to stop fighting each other (or something).

A cute story from earlier this month.

The Swamp: Bill Richardson's tough call, short of endorsement

Richardson related an anecdote from one of the debates:

He had fielded a question and then, as the next point went to another candidate, leaned toward Obama next to him on the stage and whispered, "'Boy some of these debates are really boring, aren't they?' Or something like that. And he said, 'Oh god, yeah, you're right.' "

As the two were whispering, a question suddenly veered back to Richardson -- who hadn't been paying attention. "I looked at Obama and he says [whispering] 'Katrina. Katrina.' And I go back and say, 'Well, my three-point plan on Katrina is ...'

"Obama could have thrown me under the bus. But he didn't. So I said, 'Thanks, Obama,' and he said, 'Just listen next time.'"

Last time this happened was in 1992. Guess who was the target then.

2008-03-20T23:58:00.005-04:00

George (J. Edgar) "W"hoover Bush Buddies Repeat Watergate Maneuvers?

In the New York Times:

State Dept. Punishes Aides for Obama Passport Breach

Statement from Obama campaign:

This is an outrageous breach of security and privacy, even from an Administration that has shown little regard for either over the last eight years. Our government's duty is to protect the private information of the American people, not use it for political purposes. This is a serious matter that merits a complete investigation, and we demand to know who looked at Senator Obama's passport file, for what purpose, and why it took so long for them to reveal this security breach.

More in depth coverage, including quotes from NBC and officials on HuffPo

Are we sure the W doesn't stand for Whoover?

2008-03-20T23:46:00.003-04:00

A chap named Jason Linkins over at The Huffington Post put this video up under the title:

BBC report sheds light on Bush "Hoovervilles"

5 out of 6 Fox Talking Heads Agree: We Must Destroy Obama

2008-03-20T05:31:00.007-04:00

This was on the Fox.com site 10 minutes ago.
(Along with many anti-Obama stories, at least one of which is an almost verbatim duplication of a WorldNetDaily story. A screen grab from the WorldNetDaily site is after the Faux image...)

And we should not be angry with Hillary for ignoring her committment to boycott Fox-sponsored debates, why?

And below we have some of WorldNetDaily's recent "News" article titles.
(my favorite is the one about some relatively tooth-free fella who says something about doing drugs and having sex with Obama. I mean...Come ON. There is no WAY the guy pictured in the story was EVER even near Obama's league... You just can not GET that high. I'm not posting the pic or even a link here because I don't want to drive any traffic to the site or help this person gain any more fame from this lunacy.)

2008, meet 1928. Are you sure you're not related?

2008-03-20T04:52:00.002-04:00

Great Gatsby, Batman!

Wonk Room » Blog Archive » Income Disparity And Wealth Consolidation Show Eerie Resemblances To 1928

New York Times editorial board gets it right

2008-03-20T02:26:00.004-04:00

Editorial
Mr. Obama’s Profile in Courage

Published: March 19, 2008
What is evident is that Barack Obama not only cleared the air over a particular controversy — he raised the discussion of race and religion to a higher plane.

(The line between those who will seek out the truth and those who will refuse to look or listen couldn't be more clear)

Late Calls Rarely Merit Snap Decisions

2008-03-19T16:43:00.003-04:00

So...we can add this to the "ticking-clock scenario" (used to such evil, mass-hypnotic effect by 24 and worshipped by fascists everywhere) as ANOTHER TURD in the steaming pile of crap that the American people have been gleefully ingesting with their sugared-cereal for years (side effects! Piss off! It makes the cereal taste SWEEETER! Or, do you not like sweetened cereal? Hm? HM?!! You know what kind of people don't like sweetened cereal, don't you? That's right...NON-AMERICANS!!!!!)

Will there ever come a day when we can have a reasonable discussion about how stupid, stupid, stupid, frightened and easy to control people become when they let the media tell them what to think?
Will we be able to sit down together without shaming or enraging the people who have not only believed the lies, but been convinced that they came to this belief on their own, and work together to make it even a tiny bit less likely that this same thing will keep happening again and again and again?

Some people believe that torture is sometimes necessary to save lives and that the President has to make decisions affecting the lives of millions of people in the precious seconds after he or she is awakened at 3am, in such haste that no advisors can be consulted, no plans can be drawn up, and there isn't a moment to waste.

When these people understand that these ideas are wrong (not because the people themselves are bad or dumb in any way, but because the information they were given was falsified on purpose...they were lied to and not given the accurate information that would have helped them make the right choice)...when this day comes...how can we help these people find the humility to admit they were wrong?

How can we help them save face so that we can all get on with the business of fixing the problems created by the ones who did the lying and the ones who REPEATED THE LIES endlessly?

Is there something we, the people who know the truth, can do to help our friends and neighbors and loved ones and fellow citizens to focus the shame and anger and frustration they will feel about having believed the lies and the massive surge of energy these feelings will unleash, towards repairing the damage?

Because, if we don't, it's likely that many of these people will use this energy to cling even more tightly to the lies because to let go of them will mean admitting they were mistaken, and we have become a nation of people who are often unwilling or unable to admit the things we have screwed-up.

Andrew Sullivan Loves The Speech

2008-03-18T16:13:00.004-04:00

(This was a world-class speech. Support whichever candidate you want to, but at least admit that this was an amazing speech. And if you can not admit that...please ask yourself why. mark.)

The Speech
18 Mar 2008 11:32 am
Andrew Sullivan

Alas, I cannot give a more considered response right now as I have to get on the road. But I do want to say that this searing, nuanced, gut-wrenching, loyal, and deeply, deeply Christian speech is the most honest speech on race in America in my adult lifetime. It is a speech we have all been waiting for for a generation. Its ability to embrace both the legitimate fears and resentments of whites and the understandable anger and dashed hopes of many blacks was, in my view, unique in recent American history.

And it was a reflection of faith - deep, hopeful, transcending faith in the promises of the Gospels. And it was about America - its unique promise, its historic purpose, and our duty to take up the burden to perfect this union - today, in our time, in our way.

I have never felt more convinced that this man's candidacy - not this man, his candidacy - and what he can bring us to achieve - is an historic opportunity. This was a testing; and he did not merely pass it by uttering safe bromides. He addressed the intimate, painful love he has for an imperfect and sometimes embittered man. And how that love enables him to see that man's faults and pain as well as his promise. This is what my faith is about. It is what the Gospels are about. This is a candidate who does not merely speak as a Christian. He acts like a Christian.

Bill Clinton once said that everything bad in America can be rectified by what is good in America. He was right - and...

We Are Stirred, Not Shaken

2008-03-18T12:48:00.008-04:00

Some of my favorite stuff from the middle, beginning around 6:30

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely – just as I’m sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren’t simply controversial. They weren’t simply a religious leader’s effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country – a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright’s comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems – two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

But the truth is, that isn’t all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God’s work here on Earth – by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

“People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend’s voice up into the rafters….And in that single note – hope! – I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion’s den, Ezekiel’s field of dry bones. Those stories – of survival, and freedom, and hope – became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories tha t we didn’t need to feel shame about…memories that all people might study and cherish – and with which we could start to rebuild.”

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety – the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity’s services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions – the good and the bad – of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America – to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we’ve never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

If you can watch this and not be stirred, inspired, challenged in the best possible way...then I weep for you.

FULL TEXT IS HERE

FULL TEXT is right above this sentence...

Bear Stearns & the 2 dollar bill

2008-03-17T17:54:00.004-04:00

HA, HA, HA!
Wall Street points and laughs at the guys who got caught.
Laugh while you can, boys.

Laugh while you can.

And while you're at it, try to get an office on the highest possible floor to make sure you finish the job when you hurl yourself out the window as the the market fall down, go boom.

What's that you say, Mr. Potter? Bankruptcy is for suckers?

2008-03-16T22:25:00.004-04:00

Bear Stearns & the thieving criminals who brought us Sub-Primania!(tm) join forces with the most corrupt administration in the history of the U.S.A. to
save us
Save US
SAVE US!!!!
from panic and depression!

(at least until a Democrat is in office, when what could have been contained when it was nothing more than a nasty case of financial flu mysteriously becomes economic EBOLA and the world watches as we bleed out and die on the emergency room floor.)

NYT article from Gretchen Morgenson today:
RESCUE ME: A FED BAILOUT CROSSES A LINE

one of my favorite bits (from page 2):
"Investors, already mistrusting many corporate and government leaders, were once again assured that nothing was wrong — right up until the very end. So is it any wonder investors react to every market rumor of an impending failure with the certainty that it’s true? In too many cases, the rumors turned out to be true, notwithstanding the attempts at reassurance by executives and policy makers.

Only last Monday, for example, Bear put out a press release saying, “there is absolutely no truth to the rumors of liquidity problems that circulated today in the market.” The next day, Christopher Cox, the chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, said he was comfortable that the major Wall Street firms were resting on satisfactory “capital cushions.”

Three days later, it was bailout time for Bear."

My, grandmother Fed, what big eyes you have!
The better to see us through this slight downturn with, my dear.

My, grandmother Fed, what large pockets you have, and how full they are!
It's candy, I tell ya. The better to reward you with, my dear.

What a set of chompers you got on you, granny.
Those ain't teeth, you dummy; they're pillows. Put your head on 'em and you'll get the best night's sleep you'll ever have. You like sleep, don't ya kid?

Thoughts on Hillary haters and disproportionate responses

2008-03-16T12:18:00.003-04:00

The last post was an excerpt from a piece my great friend Robert sent to me. If you haven’t read it, you might want to. It’s called “Hating Hillary: Getting to the bottom of a cultural trend that has seeped into the church.”

I've been struggling with the severe adverse reactions I've been experiencing each time I get a dose of the Hillary Clinton campaign.

BUT, they say correlation does not equal causation and I am aware of the possibility that the headaches, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, clenched fists, throbbing temple-veins, gritted teeth, labored breathing, and non-specific rage I exhibit whenever the Clinton is administered might very well not be symptoms that are actually brought about by the active ingredients in the Clinton itself any more than a Post Traumatic Stress Disordered freakout is caused by the rude customer service rep or the contemptuous civil servant. The person on the other end of the altercation may activate the rage and frustration and feelings of powerlessness, but they didn't create them, so the reaction often seems to be (and is) way out of proportion with the actual events as they are unfolding.

For example: I am, let's say, 10 years old and my step-father mocks, belittles and abuses me on a regular basis and no adult seems willing to intervene on my behalf. It is unfair, but there is little I can do about it, so I go to school and suck it up as best I can, knowing at the very least, that school is a place where things are more fair than home. So far, so good.

Then at lunch an older kid, a bully from a grade or two ahead of mine, cuts in front of me in the lunch line. I seethe. I tell the adult lunch-monitor, appealing for justice. I am dismissed, ignored, denied the fair play that has allowed me to keep my anger in check. So, I go back to the line, and one thing leads to another, the bully tells me to piss off, shoving me as a warning to shut up and accept the passive ruling of the kids around us who would rather swallow the injustice and eat a bit later than stand up against this kind of behavior and risk reprisals. After I am pushed, in what is, I must admit, a fairly gentle manner, I flip out and react in a way that can best be described as "non-proportional." Perhaps I grab the fabric of the bully's shirt and throw him out of line, or I take a running start and tackle him or, perhaps, I pick up a hard plastic chair with metal legs and I threaten to throw it at him... Or, maybe I just begin to verbally assault him at the top of my lungs, screaming every curse word I have learned in my young life, pouring out what seems like a thirty-year old reservoir of rage, tearing down his family for generations in either direction, threatening bodily harm of the type which we all know I am entirely incapable of inflicting, realizing I am beginning to shriek as the tears literally pour from my eyes and noticing that there is now an ever-widening circle forming around me as I become a sort of reverse emotional whirlpool and the line compresses itself away from me on both sides and in the few seconds before I am hustled away to the office of some poor, lunchless administrator, I realize that nobody in that vast cafetorium would agree that the sky is blue if I were the one to suggest it. When I am finally escorted from the lunch area, it almost comes as a relief, considering my lack of an exit strategy, my inability to end the sketch.

Hillary isn’t the bully. She isn’t even the negligent lunchroom monitor. She might be one of the other kids on the lunch line, I don’t know. I’m not exactly sure where or if she fits into that tale at all. (But I’m pretty sure the recent Republican administrations are the stepfather who has been abusing us for years…) The point (yes, please…what is this point of which you speak?) seems to be that for me, as I suspect it is for many of us, Hillary Clinton and her campaign, to varying degrees, somehow have morphed into symbols of all injustice, timidity, sad compromise, petty nastiness, duplicity, and even evil. This is neither helpful nor accurate and I think, for me, the first step towards defusing this misguided rage is the attempt to remember that, contrary to some of the evidence (real and ridiculous), Hillary is neither a monster nor a witch; she is a human being. And if she is a human being who, like her campaign and her surrogates and many of her supporters, seems to be in a perpetual defensive crouch, I need to take responsibility for my part in that. How to do that…I’ve not yet figured out.

Or maybe Hillary is just that close relative with whom you have a history of fights and reconciliations and each time you find yourselves in a new dispute, you have to deal with the baggage you have accumulated over years of only temporarily resolved conflict. Perhaps, you tell yourself each time you feel a disagreement a-brewin’, this will be the fight that makes her finally see the fundamental flaw in her philosophy and you will finally, finally, be able to bury the hatchet and move forward with a newfound sense of camaraderie and cooperation. Then she opens her mouth and you are buried up to your neck in steamer trunks and you respond by vomiting out a roomful of backpacks and duffel bags and, once again, you find yourselves drowning in a sea of baggage.

This post is FAR too long and if you have read this far, I would like to marry you.

Christianity Today speaks and this Jew listens

2008-03-16T11:00:00.004-04:00

Hating Hillary

Getting to the bottom of a cultural trend that has seeped into the church.

A Christianity Today editorial | posted 3/03/2008 09:40AM

(quote from the conclusion of the article)

But when vigorous political discourse turns into bashing of public figures, it perpetuates a great lie: that they are merely the ideologies and symbols attached to them. When a candidate's ideology is mistaken for his or her personhood, it masks a crucial truth: that each person, no matter their political views, bears God's image and matters deeply to him.

While pundits see candidates as punching bags, evangelicals are supposed to see candidates as, well, people. As we ponder how candidates are "fearfully and wonderfully made," we may haltingly come to realize that the most bold and courageous thing we each could do this election season, no matter who we vote for, is this: Love Hillary.

THIS is why I love Obama

2008-03-06T00:19:00.003-05:00

"If you want to work in the Obama White House, you will not be able to work for an agency that regulates a company that you used to work for or used to lobby for AND you will not be able to leave my White House and then go lobby my administration for folks you used to regulate. We're going to close that revolving door."

"You guys have to be involved. You have to be paying attention and my job is to open up the doors of government so you can actually know what's going on.

"I already passed a law...where you can go on a searchable database...and find every dollar of federal spending and where it's going..."

"Sunshine is the best disinfectant."

What's the REAL difference between Obama & Clinton?

2008-03-05T23:56:00.002-05:00

Obama blasts Clinton on Lobbyists and how they've corrupted the system.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOV7BTkfOj0

"Last year in the United States Senate I passed the toughest ethics reform legislation since Watergate, so that lobbyists couldn't give meals and gifts and could not lend corporate jets to members of Congress. And so that lobbyists would have to disclose the bundling they're doing for members of Congress. And, again, Democrats and Republicans resisted, but it was the right thing to do and we got it done."

The Ohio primary doesn't pick our Presidents

2008-03-05T17:05:00.006-05:00

Just a lil reality check

A few other Democrats went on to win the presidency after they lost the Ohio primary.

JFK, for instance.
oh, and a guy we like to call FDR.
as well as Woodrow Wilson.

So, I'd say we're in pretty good company, wouldn't you?

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/2008/03/clinton_stumbles_on_ohio_histo.html

HILLARY - The Low Hope Leader

2008-03-05T12:46:00.004-05:00

Hillary Clinton’s new “scary” ad

Bill Clinton talking about hope vs. fear

(a.k.a. BILL CLINTON ENDORSES BARACK OBAMA)

Now watch Hillary's campaign twist itself into a pretzel to convince us that her new ad isn't about scaring people, it's about encouraging them to hope...

...TO HOPE THAT OBAMA DOESN'T WIN BECAUSE THEN WE'LL ALL DIE BECAUSE HE'S FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO WORK A PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! BE HOPEFUL!!!!! EEEEEEK!

WHO'S GOING TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE 3AM BAD PEOPLE!!!!!! SHRIEK!!!! hILLARY WEARS GLASSES AND ANSWERS THE PHONE HERSELF!

obama would have PEOPLE to answer the phone for him!!!!!

And he's a real heavy sleeper!!!!

Hillary sleeps very lightly and has cat-like reflexes!!!!

When the 3am terrorists call, HILLARY WILL TALK TO THEM! (unless they're from Iran, then she'll screen her calls...)

OMIGOD! AAAAAH! I'M SO HOPEFUL I THINK I JUST PEED MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vote Hillary - The Low Hope Leader

Slogans for OBAMA t-shirts!

2008-03-04T12:04:00.002-05:00

Hope...it's what's for dinner

Hope. Suck it.

Hope is the thing without lobbyists

Go hopeful early

Change. Just for the taste of it.

If it's too hopeful, you're too old.

It's a Hope thing, you wouldn't understand

Suck my caucus

Obama: ready before day 1... to kick some overconfident, Tammany Hall ass!

We want change!
(not the kind that jingles)

Yes we can, biatch!

Hope is a full time job

Hope ain't for sissies
(but they deserve it, too)

Building a Movement has nothing to do with fiber intake

I got hope comin' outta my ass over here

Hopey Days Are Here Again

You can't get Experience by osmosis

Experience: it's not contagious

I've got cynicism fatigue
(I call it hope)

This Hope followed me home.
Can I keep it?

Gee, your hope smells terrific

The opposite of fear is hope

Oh, Hope! You're mah best friend!
(Driving Mass Change-y)

The Hope is strong in this one

Use the Hope, Luke!

May the Hope be with you

Hope is just another word for nothing left to lose

Hope Wars
(graphic with Barack as Skywalker, Michelle as Leia, Hillary and mccain as Vader...)

HOPE big or go home

HOPE...This time it's personal

Buddy...can you spare a mime?
(honestly...I got nothin' here.)

Hope: something you can't commoditize

Hillary-the low hope leader
(visual parody of WalMart ad)

Hillary-hopelessness you can believe in

Agent of Change

Cynicism is Lazy

Hope has a flavor
(LOL cats)

Pwned by hope

Mainstream Media: The Anti-Hope

Hillary's Secret Good Judgment

2008-03-04T11:54:00.006-05:00

Hillary’s got plenty of judgment. A whole heap of it, in fact. She’s got judgment all over the place. In drawers, in cabinets, under pillows, on shelves, in the attic, and a six foot tall pile of it in the basement. She has more judgment than you can shake a stick at. The question is: what’s she saving the good stuff for? Is she expecting a party (the democratic party maybe? Or even that other one?) to descend upon her house unexpectedly, demanding the good judgment she’s been saving for some special future date?

Go ahead, Hill, crack the seal on that stuff, no, not those votes to give authorization to Bush, to prevent the banning of landmines and cluster bombs, to support the anti-consumer bankruptcy bill, to criminalize flag-burning stuff, that's the shitty judgment you give to the saps who don't know any better, you know, the ones who'll be happy to know you have any judgment at all. We're looking for the judgment you rarely use because it costs too much. We want the GOOD stuff.

Whip it out! Surely, you can find it underneath all of the bad judgment, yes? Let me help you. No, that’s okay. It’s no problem, really. Is it over here behind the tax returns you won’t release? Nope. Not there.

What about on top of this pile of money Rupert Murdoch and the insurance and pharmaceutical industries raised for you? It’s really tall, do you have a ladder? Oh. Not up there, either. Darn.

Ooh, I know! It’s probably in your closet, in the pantsuit you were wearing back when you were having secret meetings on your catastrophic failure of a healthcare plan and supporting NAFTA. Oh. Well, even if the suit of a much less cynical and divisive person doesn’t fit you now, you could have given it to a thrift shop or something, you didn’t need to burn it. Surely, someone could have worn it while campaigning for their husband, the presidential candidate who implores people to choose hope over fear. Hey, didn’t Bill do that?

What’s in this drawer? Oh, it’s that pledge you made not to give Fox any more credibility as a News outlet by agreeing to appear on their debate…you remember, the one John Edwards and Barack Obama and the other candidates pressured you into agreeing to. Oh, I can just tear this up? Cool.

There are a bunch of checks from Wal-Mart here too, but they’re from before you ran for Senator, can I chuck these too? You really only need to keep stuff like this for five years for tax purposes and stuff. Oh, right. The library might want them. I’ll just put them back in the folder marked “corporate blood money.” Or do they go over here in “Stuff that looks like money from lobbyists but is really just like being tipped for a job well done?”

Do you still want this note from Marion Wright-Edelman, chair of the Children’s Defense Fund, you know, the woman you call your mentor in the children helping business? It’s the interview from 2007 where Marion Wright-Edelman says “Hillary Clinton is an old friend, but they are not friends in politics.” And calls the draconian Welfare reform bill your husband and, one supposes, you, supported, “an abomination?”

Oh! Here it is! I found the good judgment! Hold on, hold on. Oh…it’s mostly empty and…oh…let me just take a swig of this delightful, vintage good judgement you've been trying to hide from us all these years, you naughty politician, you...gag…Ugh. Oh, that's awful. It seems to have turned to vinegar. Damn. Well, okay. We’re not picky. Do you have any salad?

Bed, head

2007-09-30T15:39:00.001-04:00

First post from phone

2007-09-30T15:29:00.001-04:00

Hey! Ain't technology grand?
I've missed you blog.
I've been remiss and neglectful and a bit of a turd and I hope you'll
let me make it up to u.
You know I love u, right?
Come on. Give us a smile.
Come on...
What's that?
I'm like a puppydog u can't stay mad at?
Aw...that's sweet of u to say, but...
that was a simile and I asked for a SMILE.
Show me how a blog smiles now... U can do it. I believe in u.

Damn. Just realized I can't attach pics from the phone. If I want to
send them, I have to choose the pic 1st.

Oh, bother...

MarkERosenthal

Strindberg helium

2007-08-13T13:29:00.000-04:00

Strindberg helium

I love Strindberg and Helium and I don't care who knows it.

Go there.
Watch it.
Even if you've seen it already.

It frightens and amuses me how much these cartoons reflect the discussions inside my head.
I am Strindberg.
I am Helium.
Who are you?
Are you Strindberg and Helium, too?
Then there's a pair of us, don't tell!
They'll medicate us all to hell.

A blast from the recent past

2007-08-07T21:29:00.000-04:00

Probably not the best line with which to begin when you visit the Office of Disability Services to ask for a favor:

"So, I have a question but I don't have a physical disability. Unless you consider brain problems to be physical."

Louisville: It's not just for Sluggers anymore.

2007-08-06T23:17:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, after several attempts, I got halfway through reading my play (the one I'm hoping to ready for my application to The Public Theater's inaugural Emerging Writer's Group).
It was awful. I was awful. How could I have thought this was ready? Despair came in without knocking, ordered a bunch of Chinese food, and didn't stop eating until it was all gone and I felt as bad physically as I did emotionally. I would have shaken my fist at Despair but I was inexplicably sluggish and too sweaty for that much exercise.

(You know where the story is going, don't you? You've known all along, yes? Is there no mystery left in the world?)

I called several people yesterday, trying to get them to tell me how good I am and why I shouldn't give up writing. Was not convinced.
Then I watched an episode of Life is Worth Living from 1953, discovering the fascinating Bishop Fulton J. Sheen.
He was like the love child of Liberace and Red Skelton. The act worked. I laughed and thought about my eternal soul. (or was it the other way around?)
I watched the tube until I was too tired to hate my play, then I fell asleep.

Today I received a letter from Actor's Theatre of Louisville. It was the thickness of one sheet of paper. I continued to breathe while I prepared myself for the rejection.
it began:

Dear Mark,
Thanks for your patience while waiting to hear from us regarding your submission to the 2007 National 10-Minute Play Contest. ("You're welcome" I muttered) This year we received over 1,200 entries (Okay, here we go...the submissions were exciting but they're sorry mine was not selected as one of the finalists...)
and your play, A Morning After, has been selected as one of the finalists for the 2007 Heideman Award.

I screamed. I swear to you as God is my witness, I jumped up and down in that empty house and I screamed and laughed and said "OMYGOD!" so many times and so quickly that it sounded like I was speaking in tongues. Dizzy with joy, I tell ya.
It was a great moment.

Then I called almost everyone I know.
I will call more people tomorrow.
(Yes, I already posted about it on my Facebook. Was that tacky?)

I just want to savor this moment.
And when I forget, I want to read this and remember.
It's a stepping stone of encouragement in the river of doubt, despair and uncertainty.

Ah, yes. Life IS worth living.
Touche, Bishop Sheen, touche.

(takes a deep breath, visualizes more stepping stones, exhales.)

Cathy? Hi, it's Ben. Thanks for coming to the party. How are you feeling?

2007-08-06T23:13:00.001-04:00

Just putting this here so I don't lose it. I think there's AT LEAST a 10-minute play in this story.

(from Ben Widdicombe's Gossip column in the Daily News, found from a link to a Liza item on talkinbroadway.com)

Don't shoot the messenger

Which network news executive had to confess to cheating on his partner after he caught hepatitis? Plus, he had to tell the 50 party guests whose food he prepared by hand the day before he was diagnosed.

Zis laptop...she is not healthy...

2007-07-02T23:35:00.001-04:00

Apparently, up-to-date versions of Symantec anti-virus, Ad-Aware and Zone Alarm personal firewall aren't enough to protect your pc laptop from a virus that will destroy your hard drive.

Or, perhaps it's just me.
(Apple...why couldn't I have an Apple?)

So, for the last 30 hours or so (with 4 or 5 for sleep, nowhere near enough) I have been struggling to save my word documents, personal photos, digital music (and yes, porn, are you happy?) from the virus that was slowly murdering my 3 year old Dell Inspiron 1000. The virus won.

The bad news is everything is gone. The good news is I last backed the p.o.s. up about a month ago, so the loss isn't catastrophic. Thanks to the new web-based world, i still have my facebook stuff and my Myspace stuff and my webbased email and gmail and Blogger and Livejournal stuff and thanks to my incredibly generous host, i was able to pick up a wireless adapter for my Desktop from Sam's Club (Look! Multipacks!) at 8:45pm, and all is okay.
(Ah, yes...and the "service agreement" I got with the computer doesn't expire until the end of July, so back to Dell it goes! If I had known i was going to lose it to a virus, I would have gone hog-wild and seen how many of those suckers I could catch b4 the end. Maybe explore the wide world of bittorrents...)

I am, as you might imagine, a bit miffed, though.
I think i got the damn bug from a website, thisisby.us.com, an awful "writing site" (write for us! Get votes! earn $! You own your work!) that I found through (duh) Craigslist.
But, I'm afraid to go back and find out because my desktop doesn't have a service plan and if it dies, it gets buried.
Anybody else get infected by this site?
It happened when i was trying to delete my first post from the website. I clicked "delete" and my hard drive started making horrible scraping noises and it was all downhill from there.

I'm gonna look around in the net. see what i can find.
This post is boring and ill-thought out, but i just wanted to get it in b4 the day is all gone.

Happy July!

Two Guys Visit Yankee Stadium: A Tale of Loss and Friendship - New York Times

2007-07-01T14:25:00.000-04:00

Two Guys Visit Yankee Stadium: A Tale of Loss and Friendship - New York Times

Sunday Morning (okay, afternoon...) tearjerker.
Maybe it's just good (manipulative) writing, (or maybe my body goes through a physical change on Sunday mornings that makes me sappier than usual) but this story about a guy who asked for and got a bunch of free stuff for his friend moved me.
I think it was this bit right here:

“We’re going to Yankee Stadium,” Mr. McGuire said on Wednesday. “Michael doesn’t know it yet, but he is going to meet his idol, Don Mattingly.”
For Mr. McGuire it will be an important outing at Yankee Stadium, but for his friend, it will be much more.
Mr. Sayre has congenital glaucoma, which has left him blind in his right eye and in danger of losing his eyesight altogether. Their road trip to the Bronx began in March with a letter that Mr. McGuire wrote to the Yankees.
“I’d like to tell you about my best friend, Michael Sayre,” the letter began. “Michael is a 25-year-old diehard Yankees fan. He was born with glaucoma. Recently, he lost all vision in his right eye. Right now he’s hanging on to what vision he has left in his left eye, and his doctors don’t know how long it will remain healthy.
“I knew I had to do something special for him. Something he’d never forget. I’d like to take him to a Yankee game and give him the chance to experience the game like never before — to walk on the field, sit in the dugout, hear the dirt crunch beneath his feet or have him meet his all-time Yankee favorite, Don Mattingly. Nothing would mean more to Michael than to get up close and personal with the team he is so passionate about.”

I know it's a kitschy, feel-good story, the kind that shamelessly panders to our emotions, and reinforces the lies that our system is fair, and good people are rewarded, and I know that this sweet event won't change the world, it probably won't even change a life (a bat with Don Mattingly's name on it isn't going to help Mr. Sayre find his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, or help him feel useful in a world where our worth is determined by our jobs), but...

it moves me to see people caring for one another.
And, to be honest, next to images of dads hugging/accepting their sons (Billy Elliot, Field of Dreams, Tribute w/Jack Lemmon (rent it), etc...), nothing makes me emotional like people realizing their dreams.
It's not the dreams that get me, it's that people have them.
So many have no dreams at all.
I wonder if dreams are the USA's greatest natural resource.

There's a voice in my head that says "How dare you throw away those dreams. You know, there are children in Africa who don't have any dreams at all. (There are people who are dead, in prison, bedridden, hospitalized, mentally or physically crippled, etc...) They're dying to have dreams, and you're just throwing them away."
Here, too. Lots of people can't afford dreams here, either.
They're expensive as hell.
I think they might be the luxury we can't live without.

Thank God for TV.
It dreams for us.
Watching it feels like having dreams of my own, feels like going after them, feels like exercise.
As long as I never turn it off, I don't have to hear the nothing, see the empty space.

(I wanted to share this as a happy story, honest. I was trying to wrap the story in warmth, I didn't realize the blanket was wet until it was too late.)

YouTube - Commitment Ceremony - Julie Goldman Kate McKinnon

2007-06-30T19:08:00.000-04:00

YouTube - Commitment Ceremony - Julie Goldman Kate McKinnon

2 Short Poems

2007-06-30T18:09:00.000-04:00

Cash, grass or ass…

In line at 7-11

Surfer dude,

proudly and with conspiratorial glee announces

“I’m getting margarine! And this time it’s not for rent…”

Head-drop

It all makes sense now

I actually was dropped on my head.

After I sit with this new information for a while,

I ask my mother:

“From how far up?”

She shrugs and reassures me:

“Not far…really, not far.”

False Hope is dead. Long live False Hope!

2007-06-27T19:31:00.000-04:00

Finally got my letter from Juilliard.

The wait is over.

Memorial service for False Hope to be held tonight. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to The Foundation for Real Hope, c/o The Commission To Figure Out Just How The Hell I Can Get From Here To There * When It Feels Like The Momentum From Columbia Was My Last Best Hope And I Piddled It Away On Ill-Conceived, Poorly Executed And Grandiose Plans To Apply For Admission Only To The Most Prestigious Playwriting Programs In The World, Somehow Hoping That My Admission To Any (Or All) Of These Impossibly Exclusive Programs Would Be A Message From God And The Message Would Be: "I Love You, Kid" And There Would Be A Postscript, Handwritten, That Said: "You're In. Now You Can Stop Wasting Your Time Being Afraid That I Gave You Keys To Unlock Doors That Are Within Castles To Which You Will Never, Ever Gain Entrance, No Matter How Much Wishing You Do. I'm Not That Cruel. Your Crippling Weakness, Your Mind, Is About To Become Your Greatest Asset. Keep Dreaming. I insist."

* ("There" representing a place where I can have the opportunity to use my actual talents in an atmosphere where they are artistically and financially encouraged, even the slightest bit, in a real and concrete way that involves more than words, but actually, really only money would be the sign that I have arrived, am appreciated, because, sadly, the only way I can judge my worth and the worth of my work is by how much money I make and what I really mean is not the Opportunity To Show My Work And Have It Appreciated, but Not Having To Do Any Work And Being Appreciated For My Essence, For My Potential, For The Brilliance That IS Within Me, Yet Hasn't Yet Found Its Way Into The World In Any Form That Can Be Exchanged Or Displayed Or Submitted For Money.)

My Life As A Blog

2007-06-27T15:08:00.000-04:00

My Life As A Blog.

Like my father before me

(before life, with its meds and its wives and children and jobs and chronic medical conditions and jagged remains of shattered dreams dammed his stream of consciousness, or made it go underground),

I am a monologist.

I have always loved to talk and the people who have become my long-term friends are those wonderful folks who (often) enjoy listening to me, sometimes find me funny, and always accept me for the babbling brook that I am. Are these people saints? Perhaps. Do they never tire of the endless flow from my mouth? Of course they do. Sometimes they even have to step away from the banks of my swelling river of words for a while, if only because the sound of the water makes them feel like they have to pee. But, they come back. And sometimes I get to lollygag on their shores or play in their rapids and sometimes our streams cross and we all get wet and a fun time is had by all.

(Even though it sounds like it, I am not into watersports. At least, not yet.)

But, I don’t love these rare and special people only because they listen to me and laugh at my observations and love me. They also speak, though not in monologues

(although I do encourage them, fond of the form as I am),

and I love to listen to them even when they aren't speaking about me or something directly related to me

(and yet, let’s face it, almost everything is directly related to me in some way, being, as I am, the Piece Of Shit At The Center Of The Universe, or POSATCOTU for short).

I find them almost as fascinating as I find myself, and far more consistently delightful. And when I am low, and blue, and feeling mostly useless…when I am out of patience with myself and all I can see when I look back at the (almost) 37 years since I was carved out of my mother's body is:

the consistently unrealized potential

the overdependence on others

the learned helplessness

the victim mentality

and the countless examples of brilliantly planned and executed self-sabotage…

I can think of these people and understand that we do not see the same things when we look at me.

These friends are kind and encouraging and generous with their time and laughter and gentle (sometimes) acknowledgment of my many broken places and unwillingness to see me in the harsh light in which I see myself and they actively encourage me to replace the bulb (is it just one bulb? I thought it was an arena concert's worth of lighting trusses.) with one less likely to be used as a skin-singeing torture device due to its high wattage, perhaps one of those bluish ones that simulates sunlight or those new fluorescent ones that are good for the environment and last forever and don't really flicker like the old ones, making everything look like washed-out despair.)

When I am worthless to myself,
I know I have value to these people.*

* except when I convince myself that they're just too polite to tell me to go away, leave them alone, grow up, stop being such a lazy-ass whiner, etc… (tape #37, "I am a complete waste of space and time and the only organisms on earth that are happy that I exist are the plants and trees for whom I convert oxygen into carbon dioxide, and the bugs and bacteria and fungi that will consume my body when I die, unless I'm cremated or something, and it looks like the fungi can't wait, I've got that yellow toenail thing and I should get medication for it before my insurance from school runs out, but I won't and it will progressively worsen until it covers my entire body and who cares anyway because I'm such a fat, disgusting pig that no one will ever want to see me naked again so the only person it will gross out is me and I find it hard to imagine that I could ever find myself more naueseating than I do right now.") At these times, it is usually best to sleep it off, or if that's not possible, masturbate or watch television or play video games to deaden the mind, drown out the monologue.

But, I digress.
Back to me. And my history as a blogger.
I'm just sad that so many of my best posts have vanished because I wrote them on the air with my voice.
Well, not just the air. I'm sure there are archival remnants of them in the brains of at least some of the people who were reading my blog with their ears.

So.
The plan is:
Blog every day (yeah, that always works out)
And post things from archives and notebooks and crap so maybe I can get some sort of outside feedback on who the hell I really am and tips and tricks on how someone like me (which is like what, exactly? Aha! We'll find out!) can find a way to live in a system which doesn't seem to value the things I have in abundance.

Hoping that I can compile the evidence and do some detective work to discover my purpose, how I can best be of use, where I belong.

That, or I'll just post so many pieces of brilliant writing, and my blog will become so popular (with hardly any efforts on my part) that I will be offered a writing job at The Simpsons or Late Night with Conan O'Brien, or Saturday Night Live, or a videogame company or even ____________ (insert name of astonishingly bad show here, the television equivalent of Battlefield Earth), or I will be given lots of money to sell my blog to the makers of Welbutrin or Ritalin or some yet to be discovered miracle drug as proof of it efficacy, or maybe I'll just get laid.

or maybe, just maybe, this blog will get me writing.

Plain and Simple, that's really the whole point.

So, now I'm back...from outer space. (and by "outer space", I mean school.)

2007-06-27T15:04:00.000-04:00

So. I come crawling back. Slouching toward Bloglehem…Bethleblog…Bloggerham.
(Can’t make an almost clever reworking of a phrase actually work? Just leave it the way it is. You'll get an "A" for effort. You'll get partial credit for showing your work. You will become, in the minds of the people who see the "potential" in what you have written, a horseshoe or a hand grenade and "almost" will, in fact, count.)

A year. It's been a year since I started this blog. Since I took the bull by the horns and then released it almost immediately. But, here’s the thing, I've had a date with Blogville, Blogtopia, The Blogosphere, Blogton for a long time. I've been blogging for decades. Since the 70's. Since I learned to speak.

I just didn't know it.

Ah...

2006-06-11T14:42:00.000-04:00

I see I'm going to have to write in Word 1st, then cut and paste since it doesn't work the other way around.

Gotcha.
Will do.

That's sure to make it much less likely that I will be posting lots.
or maybe ever.
good to know.

Jumping right in

2006-06-11T13:59:00.000-04:00

I've tried this before.
It didn't work out.

The initial impulse wasn't strong enough to sustain itself and I lost interest and moved on.
I've been reading "Clublife"
It made me think of my experiences working in a sex club in Los Angeles.
I thought it might be nice to start a blog where I could write about things from beneath the warm blanket of anonymity.

I don't know how I feel about anonymity.
On the one hand, anonymity perpetuates the need for anonymity (behaving as though you're ashamed of your thoughts can make you ashamed of your thoughts and cause others to think their thoughts are shameful, too.)
On the other hand,
you can't get over that shame until you can find a way to honestly look at the thoughts that shame would have you ignore.
Anonymity provides a "safe" space in which to unpack these thoughts
so we can look at them.
The idea being that anonymity, if used correctly, will eventually make itself (or the need for anonymity) obsolete.
The way visiting a nude beach is supposed to help destroy body shame.

The world is (seems to be) unsafe for honesty because people believe the world is unsafe for honesty
and honesty seems rare because it is hidden.
Does this thought have anything to do with anonymity?
I don't know anymore.

my head hurts.
i think what i am trying to say is that...
I'm hoping this blog will help me figure out what the hell I'm trying to say.
Then maybe communicating those ideas will be easier.

I don't know what I think till I write it down or say it out loud
and often not even then.

Wow. I could maybe have written "DON'T READ THIS BLOG" a hundred times and saved myself some effort.
My 1st instinct is to delete this. start over.
or to just forget the whole Sunday afternoon inspired
just another way to avoid laundry and the "real" writing i should be doing
thing.

Fuck it.
maybe the good (useful) posts will come later.

editing is bullshit.
this is how my mind works (at this moment in time).
tomorrow it may (will surely) be different.

Welcome to my blog.
Make yourself comfortable.
That'll make one of us.